Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Here we go again folks!

Well, I have some news to share. I am pregnant. Here's the story..

I was supposed to start my period on Sunday or Monday. I started testing on Thursday of last week and had all negative tests through Sunday. I tested Monday morning as I was feeling my period was well on it's way, and there it was. I was a bit in shock and called Nick in to have a look at the positive test I saw in front of my eyes. Then I got scared. real scared. The thoughts and the "what if's" entered in quickly. I called my fertility specialist first thing this morning and left work to go have blood work done. I did not get to speak with my doctor but I did see her. A couple came in with their brand new baby to take pictures with Dr. Mitchell. It was so sweet. I couldn't help but think that I couldn't wait for that to be Nick and I. Then my brain REALLY started playing tricks on me. I just thought about how this could end and what has happened in the past and how I couldn't possibly go through another miscarriage.

This afternoon at around 3:30 I got the call from my doctor. They wanted to know about my cycle and when I would have ovulated and so on. She said my levels were low...but how low? Pretty darn low. My HCG is 8.6 and my progesterone is in the "lower" range but nothng alarming. So now I play the waiting game. Mind you this is my 3rd time playing this game so I am pretty familiar with it. I will go back Friday for more blood work that will be very telling...either the pregnancy will sustain, or not. My doctor increased my Prometrium (to up my progesterone levels) and we just pray that my HCG doubles like it should every 48 hours or so.

So what do I need from you? I need you to pray. I need you to remember that I have to think about this for the next 3 days as I try to focus my mind on teaching my sweet kids. I need you to pray for strengh and faith, that I will trust in God and accept His will as it comes. He is in control. I want this to be the one, but if it is not, I need to be ok with that and keep on keepin' on. Thank you so much for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. You truly do not know how much it means to me! It is not easy to put all of this out there. I have learned through this experience that hiding it doesn't help me, it just hurts even more.

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