The rest of the day followed about the same. Lots of drama with the kids. We all ended the day talking about what a weird day it had been and hoping tomorrow turns out a little better.
And then there is the fact that I feel like eVeRyOnE around me is pregnant. I just keep waiting for the next announcement. If you are one of those people, please don't worry. I deal with this quite well and enjoy hearing about your pregnancies...I truly do! It's not that I get discouraged, it just brings up the fact that I am not and having issues getting there. No biggie.
On a very positive note today, I am feeling quite hopeful about getting pregnant and staying pregnant. I have always been hopeful, but it just feels so different...and quite close. I mean who knows, it could be years, but for some reason I feel like God is preparing me for something. And I like it. I keep thinking about how I will feel if I get pregnant sooner vs. later and things progress well. I can honestly say as someone who has had quite the tough road with staying pregnant, there will not come a day in my entire pregnancy that I feel "safe." I will always wonder if my baby's heart is beating, analyzing every cramp and pull, and freaking out the minute a symptom slips away. It is just the life of someone that has dealt with infertility.
Regardless where God is leading Nick and I on this path, we are thankful for what we have been through. Trials bring you closer to God. Trials are good. Yes, I said it...trials. are. good.
Thank you Lord for being my Rock. Thank you for the hope that you put in my heart and that I can still praise you in this storm. Even though I may deal with those feelings when pregnancy does happen again, I am thankful that I can turn to you for my every need. Without You I am nothing. Without a baby in my arms I am Yours and will love You still.