Miscarriage #3

I mentioned in a previous post that I was diagnosed with a blood clotting mutation in which I require extra folic acid. With this news came the fact that I have probably had miscarriages that I didn't know I was having known as early miscarriages where you may be a day or two late for your period, but actually miscarrying.

Well today officially marks the third miscarriage that I know of. My doctor asked me to call by Wednesday if I had not started bleeding by then. I called and left a message because I wasn't even spotting then. Thursday I began to spot a little and today I actually passed tissue and knew what was going on. What is sad to me about the whole thing is that I have only been able to be and feel pregnant for 10 weeks. My first pregnancy only held on for that long. Now I am riding the physical and emotional rollercoaster of my hormones returning to normal and bleeding quite heavily.

I so want to be and feel pregnant for 40 weeks. Not 6, 7, or 10...40 full weeks. I don't care if I puke everyday, all day, the entire time

Bring. it. on.

People that have been pregnant will read this and say, "Oh, that's what she says now, wait till it happens!" Not true. At all. Until you have experienced this several times and want it as bad as Nick and I do, you won't be able to understand.

 I will puke my guts out, have horrible heartburn, and fall asleep by 7:00 pm. Have my lower back feel like it is going to fall off, lose my mind from pregnancy brain, breakout with "pregnancy acne" and gain 50 pounds. Have headaches everyday and my chest so sore that it hurts cotton to touch it. Joyfully and willingly I will go through it all to carry a healthy child for 40 weeks.

When I do become pregnant again, and this time carry a baby longer than 10 weeks. you have FULL permission to put me in check if I ever complain about how I feel. Promise.

Bring it on. All of it.