I can honestly say that God is wrapping me in His arms and I am feeling so much peace right now. I did my fair share of crying and thinking the most negative thoughts ever yesterday, like "What is wrong with me", and "I don't think I can do this anymore", but those have hence subsided and I have realized more than ever that I these trials are for a reason. Nick came home from work last night and shared with me that a man that he works with told him his wife had 5 miscarriages before they had their first child. It is hard to think that I could go through 2 more before I deliver a child. I can tell you this though, I will share it with you the whole way.
I can't even begin to tell you how many others from countries all over the world have contacted me to thank me for sharing my story. What. A. Blessing. Just to think that so many are reading this simple little blog and able to get something out of it is crazy to me. It's just little ole' me putting these feelings out for the world to see. I am so thankful though. Thank you for reading.
So how am I feeling today? Pregnant. Of course I wake up today with my chest hurting WAY more than it was the day before, nauseous, and exhausted. I just keep telling myself that the symptoms will reside eventually. Just pray that my numbers fall like they should and my cycle goes back to normal quickly. Some were confused when I said yesterday that the doctor did not want me to try on my own anymore. This is exactly what the nurse said to me yesterday:
"Kristen, I am calling with bad news today. Your numbers dropped about 100 points from Thursday. Dr. Mitchell wants you to stop the Progesterone and call if you haven't started bleeding in two days." I then proceeded to tell her that I was used to this process and she said: "This is something you should never have to get used to and we are going to get you a happy and healthy baby soon. For now, do your best to not get pregnant. You need to come back next Thursday and we will repeat the bloodwork to check your levels again. Dr. Mitchell wants to meet with you guys to come up with a plan for getting you safely pregnant."
She was incredibly caring over the phone and I certainly did not feel like another infertility patient. They are just wonderful. So the plan is to set up an appointment soon to come up with our "plan". I am not quite sure what that means yet, but we will see. I trust her and I trust God.
Again, I am so thankful for friends and even complete strangers like you that care enough to read and pray for Nick and I. You have NO idea what that means to us! We will figure this out, one day at a time (;