Monday, October 31, 2011

Something is missing?

Today honestly felt like a whirlwind. As a teacher, your name is literally called 5 million times a day. Normally this doesn't bother me very much, but today...I was over it by 8:30 a.m. Last week was conference week so the kiddos left a little after noon. Today was back to the normal schedule and for whatever reason, I was so tired by dismissal. Maybe they were all sugared up when they came this morning. I know tomorrow will be worse...yikes!

I absolutely LOVE this time of year. I love the weather, the changing leaves, the scent of cinnamon and pumpkin, the holidays..everything. I love that I get to see my family more often than usual around Thanksgiving and then again at Christmas. I love the extended breaks from work to decorate my house, bake, and not feel so stressed. It. is. the. best. 

I will say this though...for the first time ever, I feel like there is something missing. I want to have a child to dress up and take trick-or-treating, to get their pictures taken all dressed up, to take to sit in Santa's lap, to read the Christmas story to..all of those things. I have never felt like there was something missing until this year. Is it because I have just had my third miscarriage? Maybe. Who knows what it is, but the feeling and longing is there. God has given me a huge desire to have children..Nick as well. We want to share of these memories with someone else. We want to grow this family. It can be incredibly frustrating sometimes to be in this position of infertility. I feel frustrated today.

Please pray that Nick and I would not become frustrated with our situation, but embrace it and continue to believe that God is in control and His plan is perfect. We certainly believe that with all of our hearts. God is working in the both of us. I feel it..and I like it (:

Good News!! Nick got a promotion at work! He has only been there a month and from what he was told...this never happens! He is now an assistant manager (: We are so thankful for this job!

We sang this in church yesterday. Love it.

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