Monday, January 30, 2012

What a Day!

Well, it is safe to say that I had a very interesting Monday. Came in to find my friend Liz's room completely covered in sticky notes. (she was pranked by a couple of fifth grade girls. They have been going back and forth doing funny pranks on each's been quite entertaining). As I was about to unlock my classroom door, she told me to come check out the fun. Oh boy was it ever! As I was admiring the handy work of these two girls (that happen to be in my class..), I turned around with my clearly oversized teacher bag and knocked over her coffee...every drop. Poor Liz...she has to have her coffee! I tried to find her some or have someone pick it up, but no such luck. I then went off to get my room set up for a 7am parent meeting. That went fine and ending fairly quickly. One of my boys came in the classroom like a bull in a China shop and knocked over one of my lamps (I don't use the big overhead seizure inducing lights). Glass. Everywhere.

The rest of the day followed about the same. Lots of drama with the kids. We all ended the day talking about what a weird day it had been and hoping tomorrow turns out a little better.

And then there is the fact that I feel like eVeRyOnE around me is pregnant. I just keep waiting for the next announcement. If you are one of those people, please don't worry. I deal with this quite well and enjoy hearing about your pregnancies...I truly do! It's not that I get discouraged, it just brings up the fact that I am not and having issues getting there. No biggie.

On a very positive note today, I am feeling quite hopeful about getting pregnant and staying pregnant. I have always been hopeful, but it just feels so different...and quite close. I mean who knows, it could be years, but for some reason I feel like God is preparing me for something. And I like it. I keep thinking about how I will feel if I get pregnant sooner vs. later and things progress well. I can honestly say as someone who has had quite the tough road with staying pregnant, there will not come a day in my entire pregnancy that I feel "safe." I will always wonder if my baby's heart is beating, analyzing every cramp and pull, and freaking out the minute a symptom slips away. It is just the life of someone that has dealt with infertility.

Regardless where God is leading Nick and I on this path, we are thankful for what we have been through. Trials bring you closer to God. Trials are good. Yes, I said it...trials. are. good.

Thank you Lord for being my Rock. Thank you for the hope that you put in my heart and that I can still praise you in this storm. Even though I may deal with those feelings when pregnancy does happen again, I am thankful that I can turn to you for my every need. Without You I am nothing. Without a baby in my arms I am Yours and will love You still.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Bullet Point Wednesday

I feel like blogging in bullet points today, so here we go!

* I am so proud of my husband! He got another promotion today at work to a larger store AND it is right down the road from our house!! This means more money and he is closer to home (:

* I love my new routine. I complain about it sometimes, but truly I love going to a personal trainer. There is really nothing like it when it comes to exercise and accountability!

* I have been really good with my eating. I am cooking Thrive approved recipes for dinner, having a Thrive approved lunch, but adding in another snack since I am working out so much. I need the extra protein.

* I am thankful for our church. We have joined a new Sunday school class, I have met 2 women that have shared their stories with me about past and present fertility issues, and I was invited to a women's bible study that will meet Tuesday nights! Did I mention two of the girls teach fifth grade?!? God is GOOD...and right on time.

* This time of year at school is stressful. All I think about is upcoming testing, what I will not fit in currriculum wise, and everything that needs to be done around me in my classroom. I am proud of myself though. I now leave school around 3:00 most days!! This is thanks to my new co-worker and BFF @lizkennelly-smith. She's the best and we are blessed to have her (:

* This is the time of the month where I start stressing a little more as I test everyday for ovulation. I am not stressing. I am testing, but not stressing. It feels good.

* I cannot WAIT for my ring to get here! It was too small so it has to be sized. It is already very special to me and I haven't even really worn it yet.

* Fertility issues are still tough, but I am very hopeful as of lately. I mean I have always been hopeful, but it feels different. I have no other choice but to trust in God's perfect plan and his perfect timing.

* Pray for us as I apply for several grants that will help us with our fertility journey if needed. I am trying to get our ducks in a row if in the next several months it is needed.

* I have made 3 recipes from Pinterest and hated them all. I will not give up though! On my next free day I might just make every. single. sweet recipe on my food board. Those recipes are taunting me...and so is my new Paula Deen cookbook that I got for Christmas...

* Tonight I made the BEST Cream Cheese Chicken Chili. SO yummy! I just might post the recipe because it is too good not to share!

*  I love my Kindle Fire. Like I am in LoVe with it! So convenient. So user friendly. Love. Love. Love.

Ok, that's enough for now! I really could keep going, but I will spare you (; 

Sunday, January 15, 2012


I had a great birthday! The day was celebrated at work with my wonderful co-workers and kids. My co-workers surprised me all day long with breakfast from Dunkin Donuts, popcorn and other snacks, my favorite Mexican meal for lunch, and red velvet cake during planning (: I am so thankful to work with such amazing people!!

My kids were super sweet too, giving me hugs and "Happy Birthdays!!" all day long (: They sang me happy birthday twice, made me a huge birthday card that all of the fifth graders signed, and many brought me sweet presents in. I can honestly say it was the best birthday celebration I have ever had at work!

Nick and I went out to eat at Ritter's for dinner later that night. Luckily we waited until later for dinner after a day full of eating yummy stuff! It was really good! He pulled out two jewelry boxes at the table pretty soon after we sat down. He asked me to open a certain one first, and when I did it was a men's ring.


I was super confused but he asked me to read the inside. I couldn't at all because it was super dark so he told me to go ahead and open the second box. It was a pretty girly ring (;  Inside it was engraved with a verse from 1 Samuel. He told me that he didn't want me to think that I was in this whole fertility thing alone, that it was just as important to him as it was to me. In 1 Samuel, Elkanah had two wives. One of his wives Peninnah had children, but his other wife Hannah did not have any. Hannah seemed to have a very private hurt as the scripture does not mention conversations with her husband, but only prayers and that she was anguished and grieving. Nick and I talked about the scripture and how we could relate to it. It was really sweet (:

Yep, that's it! It is so beautiful and means so much to me! We also talked about next steps in our journey to having a child. We have been joking that we should move to one of the states that covers fertility treatments. Did you know that there are many states that will cover up to 6 rounds of IVF if needed?? That's over $120,000!!! For now, I am going to apply for several grants. If we aren't pregnant by the end of spring, we are going to move forward with treatments.

We went to Target after dinner and I also got a Kindle Fire (: I love it!! We also bought a new bedspread with shams, new sheets, a new shower curtain with matching accessories, I got a new pair of pants and gloves, and a few other odds and ends for right at $100! Everything we bought ( - the Kindle..) was on clearance!

I cannot believe next year I will be 30! I am looking forward to my thirties, but it does make me nervous too. I pray that year 29 brings answers and possibly a little one to celebrate 30 with (;

Monday, January 2, 2012

Ok 2012...

Please be nice to me. That is all.

Well, it's official. I went to meet with a personal trainer at Get In Shape For Women and as of Wednesday of this week, I will be working with someone four days a week for the next six weeks, possibly the next year! I could not be more excited!!! It is going to expensive yes, but it is exactly what I need to lose the weight I need to lose. If and when we decide to go the IVF route, I want to be in great physical shape. This is a step in the right direction for sure!

When I went in today, I met with the owner and she walked me through what we would be doing today. I then went through the upper arms circuit and did about 20 minutes of cardio. It is all interval training. You do 30 minutes of strength training and 30 minutes of cardio. I didn't go through the entire workout today, but was able to get a great feel of what it's like.I also had an extensive interview and she made it very clear that they do not take everyone. I told her my fertility issues and how this meant way more to me than just "looking good in a swim suit". After our hour long conversation, she said she could see me in a frame on their wall with my success story (: And I believe that.

I know this is the best option for me because of the accountability and nutrition aspect of it. I have no problem working out! It is not that big of a hassle to me and most of the time I enjoy it! My metabolism is at a slug's pace and I don't eat like I need to. This program will hold me completely accountable for it all...not just working out. I will weigh in once a week for the first month and then once every two weeks after that.

I have to test for pregnancy this week and have mixed emotions about it. Of course I would be thrilled if two lines popped up, but I really, really want this. God is so very much in control and what should be, will be!  I am SO excited about this and ask for your prayers. I know it will be challenging but I am more than ready for it! I have a good feeling about 2012!